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"On one hand, it's great that these girls have a venue in which to explore their sexuality safely, but on the other hand, I've learned a few times on first dates with women I met online that they've never been with a woman before," she says."This is not necessarily a problem, but sometimes it's hard to gauge if someone is feeling experimental versus being very much past that stage." A straight-identifying friend even told me she sometimes turns her Tinder to women-seeking-women to chat with women even though she'd "probably never do anything." Enough false-positive matches like that would turn anyone off.So, of the hundreds of dating apps that exist, why isn't there a better, queer-women-friendly dating app yet?Are lesbians not online dating because there's no good app, or is there no good app because lesbians don't like online dating?

And it's not a problem for gay men; about 70 percent of them report dating someone they met online.Dinesh Moorjani, co-founder of Tinder and CEO of Hatch Labs Inc.where Tinder was created, says that another reason lesbian dating apps may have failed to prosper could be that investors don't see that 3.4 percent of America as a large enough market to tackle (never mind that gay and bi men make up about the same proportion of the population as gay and bi women, and Grindr has 10 times the users of Her).Meeting someone through your LGBTQ social network offers a level of Date Insurance that many queer women can't afford to do without.All this partner-vetting isn't to say all lesbians are serial monogamists.

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But then again, it was these difficult rites of passage that not only shaped Carrie’s childhood, but forged her identity as an online big sister to other girls negotiating their way through the choppy waters of adolescence.

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Since the Phases are the only girl bars in DC, the rest of my list is made up of gay boy bars I consider lesbian-friendly, based on the highly specific algorithm of “I’ve been there on a date” or “I’ve been involved in lesbian PDA there without feeling uncomfortable.” Seems as good a rubric as any to use, right? Cobalt/30 Degrees (17th Street NW, corner of 17th and R) I’m at Cobalt all the time. And despite many stupid things I have done there, they always welcome me back with open doors.

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