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by Crucible Multimedia The original dating and dumping by SMS text message sites we linked to from this page appear to have demised, but since we have so much boring stuff on the rest of this site we feel duty bound to provide some more up-to-date dating-by-text links to replace them - please let us know if you find any amusing services - in the meantime: If SMS (Short Messaging Service) is a normal part of your communication lifestyle and is key to your relationships with other people, then these websites could be for you.

(just make sure you understand the privacy, identity theft and personal safety issues when giving information to, and meeting, people who may not be who they say they are - also, be aware these are commercial sites - they may want you to spend your money on sending texts and pictures through premium rate numbers.

Not only was this an interesting glimpse into the diversity of thoughts and attitudes within a culture, but it also provided a window to myself as traveler or as an outsider trying to make sense of the culture I was living in.

I jumped to conclusions, even after years of being in Morocco.

I assumed that the behavior was based on stereotypes of Americans, I assumed that it was always sexual objectification as the intent, and I tended to always jump to the most negative conclusions.

At times, certainly, those were true, but not always.

Most– though not all– of us said that this behavior made us uncomfortable.

When I spoke to other American women who were experiencing the same thing, we talked about what specifically evoked these reactions: – Being the target of a catcall in general, and especially being compared to a “gazelle” or being called beautiful left some of us feeling objectified and occasionally unsafe. Or is this getting into that tricky territory of not compromising our own identity?

– Some of us felt that we were being singled out for being visibly American or foreign, and we assumed that this was because of the stereotype that media often perpetuates of the “loose American/foreign women.” On a deeper level, there was a feeling of conflict and that ubiquitous question of cultural relativism versus universalism: at what point is it our responsibility to change our behavior to conform to the norms of the society? The conflict of wanting to be respectful but also not wanting to have to compromise too much is an underlying factor to some people’s discomfort with these catcalls.

They, themselves would never call out to women on the street because they were “raised right,” but boys that don’t know any better do it to feel good about themselves or have fun. One of the colleagues I was assigned to work with in the Peace Corps kept calling me a “gazelle.” He was married, and I didn’t feel anything else from that interaction, but it still bothered me.

When I asked him about it, he said that his wife loves it when he calls her a gazelle, and that he saw me as his sister– it’s fine and not at all inappropriate for him to call his sister a gazelle.

For me, my relationship with my reaction to these catcalls went through several stages during my four years in Morocco, ultimately illustrating several ways to take cultural challenges and make them into true learning experiences.

Among my Peace Corps colleagues, this pattern of young men calling out one-liners as we walked by on the street became a hot topic of debate, sparking many editorials in our internal newsletters and controversial arguments at get-togethers.




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