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You know you are participating in something that is potentially damaging to many people and that there could be repercussions for yourself.

You maintain the sense of safety by trying not to think about these realities.

Powerful, yet powerless You may feel very powerful in your ability to attract a man who is married, maybe with family and cause him to betray this family.

Yet as time goes on, it becomes apparent to you that you frequently feel powerless.

Your sense of intimacy with your lover can seem more intense when he becomes one of the few people you can really talk to.

(I am using the term “the other woman” as a literary convenience because statistics show that married men have affairs more frequently than do married women.

Participating in an affair necessitates entering an altered state of consciousness where only part of reality can be processed, the part that has to do with pleasure.

It’s like being in a trance, complete with it’s own logic.

But as things progress and the honeymoon period wears off you start to have questions, you bring them up to you lover, but most likely come away with answers that leave you only partially or not at all satisfied.

These questions have to do with what you mean to him, whether or not he will leave his wife for you, how he can justify cheating on his wife, whether or not he has done this before, or is cheating on you now.

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