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We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.To start with, you have to rethink the way that you present yourself.

Many of the things that drive people away from online dating can be headed off at the pass with some preparation.Telling somebody you’re adventurous is similarly unhelpful.Better to talk about your recent trip to Ankor Wat or – even better – have a photo of you in front of Ta Prohm.We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.This is why so many people get first dates that go nowhere; you may have had great intellectual or , it just wasn’t going to work. And that’s where the benefit of the numbers game comes in.

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